Pink, Red and Black!

We were supposed to meet up to pick up a new bike (Yamaha Fazer).

The order was placed a month back and he had to wait for a long time to get the color that he wanted – Black!

So finally the day arrived and I was waiting for Thomas to come, wearing my Oh so pink shoes and drinking sugarcane juice!

There was a red ambulance parked in front of my scooter. As time went by, I noticed smoke coming out of the side windows. It had me wondering… so I tried to take a picture of it with my phone… Just as I hopped off my scooter, the doors opened and two scrawny ‘hospital attender’ guys jumped out and locked the door behind them. Am telling you they were smoking in the back of the ambulance! lol! Now, that’s a first for me. Never have I even imagined!

Anyways, we went and got the bike, took it to church, had it blessed. Then, I rode home to spend the some quality time with some other friends as well.
The highlight of the weekend was furniture shopping with Ma. It’s nice to see her giggling like a school kid, running around, looking at shoe racks, antique bedside furnishings and ‘authentic teakwood cupboards at 50% discount’.

It’s like she the prodigal son has finally come home… She sits on couches, measures kitchen fittings, tries computer tables, knocks on wood, shakes tea tables violently (probably an ancient fool-proof- earth quake-test) and brain drains the sales guy; all with an ethereal glow on her face (and no it’s not the aloe vera juice!)

When we leave the sales guy looks about to drown himself in a pool of acid. I loved it.

We then had dinner, just the two of us, talking, planning, dreaming, laughing… I realise that we both have missed this over the years. Just us girls, learning to respect each other for what we have been through and what we want to make out of it.

She looking back and I looking ahead.

If I turn out to be like my mother – I’d have only lived a righteous life, never giving up, doing things the right way, having no regrets and touching more people’s lives that I’d care to count.

Weekends… who knows what’s next

I’m ashamed of myself

Screeeeeeeeeeeeechhhhhh… A car cut me off.

My scooter was doing around 50 kms/hr and it scared the hell out of me.

Taking off my helmet and mustering all my strength “Holy mother of crap! What the hell are you doing?”

Meaaaaaaooooww!

Window rolling down “ I saw you and wanted to say hi… Did I scare you?”

Muttering to myself “Puny Todd you bastard” I searched for a dignified rebuke.

He made gestures asking me to pull over to the curb.

Shaking with anger, I pulled over and parked, still searching…

Puny Todd shuffled towards me, hitching up his pants which were half way off his ass.

“You DICK” I raged out loud. Decent and dignified, that’s me.

“Calm down Jo gurl! Want some gum?”

“Jump up your own ass and die freak!”

“You watch too much TV, want some pongal?

“What the fuck man! Wierd ass psycho FREAK. I could’ve been hurt fool… HURT!” The bats could hear me now

Traffic Cop (Parking his bike)                : “What seems to be the problem?”

Me (Trying to keep my voice steady): “Nothing sir. Just going to work”

Traffic Cop (Assessing the vehicles)   :  “Night shifts?”

Me (Producing my ID)                              : “Here is my ID card sir. I work 5 minutes from here”

Traffic Cop(Turning away from me)    : “Who is this? Your lover?”

Me(Disgusting retching sound)             : “No”

Puny Todd (Taking out his wallet)        : “he he he…Ok, don’t make a scene sir. Tell me how much you want?”

Traffic Cop (thundering)                           : “Making a scene? I’ll show you. Go and stand near the bike. (Turning to me and lowering his voice) If I ever see you with this son-of-a-bitch (he used a rather disturbing tamil word) again, it won’t be good.

Me (to his back)                                            : You won’t.

Traffic  Cop (adding an afterthought) :  “Paathu po kannu” (Ride safe dear)

Puny Todd (yelling)                                   : “Message me when you reach Jo gurl”

Traffic Cop (As I was staring the bike): “Modhala pant ah olunga poduda” (Pull up your pants first)

SO much language in a matter of a few minutes…I use f*** and different variations of the word (Which is my next post), but not the other cuss words. (I swear TK, I don’t)

Some people do bring out the gutter in me!

I’m ashamed of myself

Psst: This is where you say –> “You ought to be ashamed Archu,but,we still love you Archu…

Saturday comes when I want it to!

‘Where the hell are you?’ demanded a harsh voice over the phone.

‘Who the F***k aaa yew?’ I slurred.

‘Huh? You overslept you cow’ Sounded like nails on a chalk board.

‘Whaazure prablem biAtch?’

‘We had to shop at 6′

‘I’ll be there in an hour’

‘It’s 1.30 in the morning’

‘Oh fish’

That’s how I lost my saturday.

Saturday morning was spent watching Underworld and Without a paddle. I slowly drifted off to sleep mid-afternoon and lost my entire day.

Sunday proved to be a different story though. Thomas and I had plans for a play that Sathish had invited us to. We learned that Sathish wasn’t feeling well and decided that it wasn’t fair for us to watch the play without him.

Missed the Bloggers meet, missed the play and somehow ended up in Funk n Jazz with a carnberry drink…

Cranberry Crush

It being a Sunday, I suggested we go to Church. Thomas decided to take me to one of the oldest churches in the city.

This church was built in 1512!It is also the final resting

LSS Church

priest of one of the kindest and most generous priests, Fr.Joseph.

Darkness had decended upon the cemetary and we stood there looking at the final resting place of man. A stange sense of peace settled into my weary bones. I stood there thinking about all the nameless strangers who helped me in life. How often will I get a chance to thank them? How many times HAVE  I thanked them? Promising myself that I would be greatful for small things in life, we went in search of coffee.

We also got pulled over by cops (He was riding without his helmet and had a cigarette lit up. We were on his motor bike). He talked his way out of it!

Our quest for coffee landed us @ Karma Cafe a quiant little place. Unfortunately they did not have my favorite drink called ‘marijuana’ (Trust me it’s awesome!), so I settled for a regular drink with some amazing Pasta.

Their German Chocolate Surprise was the next best thing to… ahem! I went home laden with food and a brand new T-SHirt that says “Eat Healthy – Stay Fit – Die Anyways”!

Crawling into bed, I began the long night of texting and talking to two of the most important men in my life (BPC and My brother). Once we were all talked out, I cussed Monday and went to sleep.

Little did I know that Monday morning would bring me a pair of pink shoes, afternoon some lovely candles and evening dinner at KFC (Anna Nagar) – Please Oh please try the Sparkling Virgin Mojito!!! Check out Inder on this third refill! I had quite a many too—–>

We were high on chicken and refills of our Mojitos!

Then like all old friends do, we went for a walk (stuffing ourselves with ice creams) and I went to work feeling petty damn good.

That’s the story of how I lost my saturday but found out that I didn’t give a damn  coz with friends like mine, Saturday comes when I want it to!

99 bottles of bear!

I was surfing the net today and came across these two bizzarely constructed sentences on travel websites.

Anyone wanna sing 99 bottles of bear on the wall? lol!

I’m a Tangy Tuesday Pick!

Woohoo! Blogadda picked Soulsez as one of their Tangy Tuesday Picks!

Check it out by clicking on the picture:

Soulsez-Tangy Tuesday Picks!

This is simply Awesome! I’ve been saving my shampoo bottle speech for when I recieve the nobel price for sarcasm.

So I’m gonna take an impromptu swing and let Blogadda know that it is an honor to be named among other great Bloggers! Harish K, thanks for e-mailing me

Special Hugs and Kisses to all my readers (Except that gentleman at my mom’s office and the hairy guy from the coffee shop)

You made my day Blogadda!

You also made me a boy… I’m sure my mom would want to thank you – Now my gender befits my ‘tom boyishness’ lol!

Peace Out!

D’Oh!

Vinod’s status message on Facebook reads “If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? I still wonder…”

Now, this got me thinking. You see, when I’m by myself in my place of Zen… (In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, my place of Zen, sadly, happens to be the pot. What?) Where was I… err… yeah – I tend to think too. Here are a few of them:

D’oh!

1.       As far as service is concerned, why is it that the pizza I ordered, can reach my house faster than the police/ambulance or fire service?

2.       If a girl dancing ballet is a ballerina, what is the guy called?

3.       If magic can be magical, can a test be a testicle?

4.       Who was the first man who thought “Hmm… let me squeeze the cow’s doodoos and see what happens!”

5.       Wile E. Coyote gets mean- ass contraptions delivered to him… Why the hell can’t he just order takeout?

6.       We point to our wrists when asking for the time… Are we expected to point to our crotches when we ask for the bathroom?

7.       Bread is square isn’t it? Then why is the sandwich meat round?

Hmmm...

8.       Why do the commercials always say ‘New’ and ‘Improved’… It can’t be new if it has been improved right?

9.       If a gay king is married, does the country have two kings?

10.   If The Professor in Gilligan’s Island can invent a method for recharging the radio batteries with just coconut shells and bamboo, why couldn’t he repair the hole in the damn boat!

11.   Why do some people wear socks with their sandals? Doesn’t it defeat the purpose?

Have you ever had thoughts like these?

On the pot or off the pot, all of us have asked ourselves such quirky questions… Would love to hear from you! Feel free to post them in the comments!

P.S: Marcus, I know your question is: “When you go to a gynacologist, why does he leave the room when you undress? Isn’t he gonna look at the ‘good stuff’ anyways?”

How do you know so much about a gyno exam?