Wear Helmets!!

How many of us wear helmets when we ride our bikes?

There was a phase where not wearing helmets was ‘cool’. Some of the common excuses were ‘It suffocates me’, ‘Am going bald here!’, ‘I can’t hear the other vehicles on the road’,'My brain stopped growing’ (We came up with the last one) lol!

Now, there are a lot of incidences that slap us on the face and ask us to take this safety precaution. Like the time I flew off the back of a bike, doing 100 kms/hr, bounced over a divider/median and landed in front of an oncoming  car on the other side of the road. No helmet – head trauma, lost huge chunks of hair and told that my Halloween costume was so cool!

Here is a more recent one:

A few weeks back, Priyan decides to catch up with some friends. He rolls his bike out and starts it. Now it’s a well established fact that Priyan does not wear a helmet. Despite being pulled over by cops, he just never seems to like wearing one. Now, our daredevil, gets this gut feeling… an instinct that prompts him to wear a helmet this particular day. There he is cruising down the street when all of a sudden there is a smarting pain on his neck. He slows down the bike to check it out. To his horror he realizes that what he is choking on is a kite string (Maanja Nool). Please remember that here, the kite strings are coated with deadly components to give it strength and durability. This string is coated with a paste made with dough, ground glass and what not.

It quickly cuts through his helmet and is starting to gnaw at his throat. Eyes widening with pain, he lunges for the string and manages to pull it off his throat severly damaging his pinky.

“A piece of flesh flew off the pinky” he says

“So what did you do?” We ask, throats parching with anxiety.

“I caught it, put it in my pocket and rode to the hospital. I have no idea how I did it” He explains.

He lost a lot of blood and gained 8 stitches on his finger.

“I keep thinking what would have happened had I not heeded my instinct” he says, obviously thankful for the helmet.

National level statistics showed that 71.4 per cent of head trauma victims were two-wheeler riders and below 40 years. And Dr.Ganpathy, leading Neurosurgeon in India, claims “In my 30 years’ experience I have come across only two patients who died despite wearing helmets. Even advanced intensive medical therapy and skilled neurosurgery cannot correct severe irreversible brain injuries”

People, this is a message that comes as a reult of personal experiences:

It’s cool to wear a helmet… Totally uncool to wear your best suit to be buried in.

I’d rather wear a helmet than an arm cast or worse a catheter.

Here are some tips to make helmet wearing more fun:

Get your friends together and wear helmets of the same design, like a crew.

Customize your helmet with stickers and symbols that mean something to you. (You can get anything from “If you can read this, back the **** up!” to “Paddle faster, I hear banjo music”)

Get your helmet signed by from your friends/family – It’s unique and super cool!

Buy different bandannas and wear them across your face… Something symbolic and catchy. From skeleton masks to pink flowers, you can project a different mood each day!

Gift helmets with personal touches. They’ll get the message! :)

If you have more cool ideas do leave them in the comments section!

Remember, for some, there is heaven, for the rest of us, there are helmets!

Today…

Raindrops on the window sill,

hot tea on the stove,

luke warm memories,

knees gathered at the chest,

an effervescent smile,

the phone rings…

Life is good today,

Hasn’t it always been?

The only thing…

Courtesy Anne Geddes

The only tears worth shedding are ones when you are laughing hard.

The only song worth singing is the one that puts a smile on your face.

The only thing worth your disaapointment is the absence of hope.

The only thing worth dying for is your country.

The only thing worth killing is an innocence hunting predator.

The only thing worth stealing, is a kiss from a sleeping child.

The only life worth living is one where you leave the world more beautiful than you found it.

We get one shot, one time to live it right… to love as much as you breathe, to laugh like it sustains your life, to say “I love you” as much as pleases or thank you s…

We get one lifetime to walk in the rain, to hear the crickets at nights, to fall asleep in someones arms listening to the pitter patter of rain on the window sill, to wake up to freshly pressed coffee and sleepy lips in search of yours.

We earn one set of close friends to travel the world with, to stand by you when the world thinks you are wrong, to drag you out of your shell kicking and screaming, to share the last bowl of soup you can afford, to take the buses with you when your mercedes breaks down, to share your silence as much as your tears…

The only thing worth your indomitable spirit is to live like you deserve it all :)

Chuck Norris – Top 10!

1. Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.

images dot wikia dot com

2. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
3. Multiple people have died from Chuck Norris giving them the finger.
4. Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
5. If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.
6. Chuck Norris once threated to sue Burger King because they refused to make it his way. When asked what “his way” detailed, he replied: “with barbed wire and nails, of course”. He then roundhouse kicked the reporter for even asking.
7. Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.

8. Chuck Norris’ evil twin brother, Richard Simmons, once approached Chuck with the hope of reconciliation, but at the sight of Richard’s curly, well kept hair, Chuck Norris became so enraged that he turned green with hate and ripped Richard Simmons arms and legs off. This action was the origin of the Marvel Comic badass, The Incredible Hulk.

9. Chuck Norris used live ammunition during all shoot-outs. When a director once said he couldn’t, he replied, “Of course I can, I’m Chuck Norris,” and roundhouse kicked him in the face.

10. Chuck Norris never “gets laid”, rather: “laid gets Chuck”.

Content borrowed from different websites!

Kollywood Kisukisu!

Vijayakanth doesn’t carry a gun . He bounces bullets off his chest. He is currently training to bounce off surface to air missiles while free falling from a military chopper.

Rajkiran was fired from a construction job because he  bent a 10 inch thick steel cylinder by accidentally grazing it across his thigh.

Vijay ’s house does not have doors. He just welds a ‘Vijay Shaped hole” wherever with his blowtorch. His house and his head are being checked for leaks.

Major Sundarajan has posthumously been awarded a national award for best Tamil actor in a film. He won the best English actor for the same film. Ajith Kumar announced this during the inaugural ceremony of his next movie ‘Konjam Dullah’. Speaking in the ceremony, he said ‘The idea for this movie came to me when I was shooting for ‘Billa‘. Wearing shades indoors and outdoors in the movie gave me this brilliant idea.”

TR has declined the offer to teach English Voice and Accent in a reputed MNC in Chennai. Sources say that he is busy shooting with a song with Lil-Wayne called TR Pain.

Here is his audition tape: (Watch from 00.17  to 01.02 , sorry I couldn’t get a better quality)

Stay tuned for the next post “Chuck Norris – Top10!”

P.S: This is a post dedicated exclusively for tamil readers, if you haven’t figured it out by now! :P

Height of Recycling!

I came across a picture in an e-mail forward and it got me nostalgic!

Back in high school we were discussing about a project, that we were supposed to present on Nov 15th: World Recycling Day.

Disclaimer:

The following conversation is a true. All similarities to people, expressions , stupid ideas and rude gestures are by law of nature. It is designed to offend people whom it is targeted at and if you can’t handle it, go play with your Cinderella glow in the dark pumpkin carriage. The names are changed to protect them from total social ostacrization and widespread pointing and laughing in the street.

Here goes:

Hari  : So back to the topic guys.. what do we do?

Seth  :Recycling day? What do we recycle?

Jigu  :My mom recycles food everyday macha…

Evie : So… tell us already!

Jigu : The chutney I had for breakfast turns into a gravy for dinner! he he

Me    : Evie don’t throw chalk at him, here take my math book. It’s heavier.

Seth :C’mon man, we have to beat the other sections

Hari : Macha I have an idea! recycled condoms!

Dresses made from recycled condoms!

Can't think of an appropriate caption!

All :huh? what?he he he! Condom na yenna? (What’s a condom?) I’ve never seen one before, I think my brother has them, Waaaaccck! Chiiiii!.. etc, etc. Some walk out.

Seth :Wait wait, let’s see what he has to say.

Hari: Ille macha, we can use plastic wrap instead of condom na? My auntie came from America, she brought this saran wrap which she wraps food with.

Seth : Fucken retard!

Jigu : So you’ll collect used ones?

Me   : Retching sound

Hari: What like y’all had better ideas!

Seth: It’ll break you idiot.

Evie : I still don’t know what it is!

Jigu : So you’ll collect used ones and wash them? (bewildered expression)

Hari : ok ok… how about gloves? 5 in one !

All     : (@$%^ #%&^>R@&M&^*^^****$#@#!!?)!!!!

Hari : A genius is never respected in his generation

Evie  : But we don’t know what a condom is!

Lucy: It’s like a sweater for the penis…

All : ROFL!

Footnote:

Evie now an expecting mother. She is 7 months along and has been married for 8 and a half months (arranged marriage ofcourse). Guess she didn’t have sweaters on her shopping list!

Hari works for a medical supply chain (Irony of life! Who knows he might be stealing a couple of latex gloves now and then)

Lucy teaches middle school… Sweaters indeed!

White-Knuckled Freefall…

Ok, here’s the thing. Everyone goes through a hard phase in life. It goes by many names: depression,time out, burn out, breakdown etc.

The past month has found me in one of those hard phases in life. Many changes have to be made, realities to be faced, truths to be accepted. Having been a listener and a soldier all this time, it’s no surprise that life has left me with no one to turn to.

How do you turn to people for help when you’ve been their shoulder in similar situations? How do you cry and not listen? How do you cut in and say “I’ve heard enough of your whining, I have some of  my own”? How do you make people understand that you aren’t avoiding them, just trying to make sense out of your life? How much can you hope for people to realize that you are human too?

Looking back at the past month: “Been busy”, “I’m meeting someone else”, “At work”, “In a meeting”, “On the toilet”, “I was sleeping”, “Taking my dog to the vet” were some of the reasons I spewed on friends who wanted to catch up. I’ve been absolutely free, met no one, not had a meeting in a long while, don’t have a dog and I don’t use my phone in the bathroom.

There were people who decided I was haughty and just plain stopped speaking to me. “You are too busy for us huh?”, ” She must be busy with her ‘other’ friends”, “She’s not here when I need her, what color shirt should I pick now?”, “Whatever, I’m not bothered”

There were also the ones who saw the walls and shamelessly barged in dragging me out kicking and screaming. I owe my sanity and smile to them.

Here are  10 unforgettable moments:

10. The bottled eyed fish says “What’s the point in just being there for the heehee s, I have to be a shoulder too. Come on, what’s going on?”

9. My sister and I go out on a girls’ night out. Too disturbed to enjoy, I drag her to unrelated places that just pop into my head. That night in bed, I get her SMS “I enjoy spending time with you! We should do this more often you know? I love you”

8. Marcus calls from far far away:  “My friend will pick you up, you are getting a full day at the spa. Now tell me, is something wrong Boogs?”

“You can’t BUY information from me like that”

“Plan B is coercion – choose wisely”

7. Long ride to my favorite restaurant in the world with my best friend.

6. Mom treads carefully and makes sure she doesn’t leave me alone a lot. We find our way to a play through pouring rain. Quite an adventure.

5. BPC (Haven’t obtained permission to publish his name yet) makes sure that I get a huge hug and we tell each other that we’ll be ok. The plays and movies make us feel a little better. His dandanakka dance made sure we laughed our asses off for sometime, like nothing bad had ever happened…

4. Ashwin notes that I haven’t been eating. I get a call at 1.30 am at work. “Hopey, I’m at your office and I brought food.”

3. Thomas takes me to watch ‘The ugly truth’. It actually helped a little. “You are my best friend and my sister. I can’t see you like this. I need you”, he says. For once, my eyes well up when am not sad.

2. My little brother IMs me in the middle of the night : Arun: wat happened???am so worried about you…
1. The need to get away from people and places and faces drives me to church. The silence irrigates my parched soul and tears finally feel free to run their course… Feeing a tug, I open my eyes… Between my bowed head and my lap is a tiny little fist peppered with my tears, it opens to reveal a small candy bit in half.

As I walk out, the candy tucked in my cheek and the tears back in the vault, there seems to be something different about the night air… Atleast I’m walking now…

Pink, Red and Black!

We were supposed to meet up to pick up a new bike (Yamaha Fazer).

The order was placed a month back and he had to wait for a long time to get the color that he wanted – Black!

So finally the day arrived and I was waiting for Thomas to come, wearing my Oh so pink shoes and drinking sugarcane juice!
Sugarcane JuiceMy Pink Shoes!The Red Ambulance

There was a red ambulance parked in front of my scooter. As time went by, I noticed smoke coming out of the side windows. It had me wondering… so I tried to take a picture of it with my phone… Just as I hopped off my scooter, the doors opened and two scrawny ‘hospital attender’ guys jumped out and locked the door behind them. Am telling you they were smoking in the back of the ambulance! lol! Now, that’s a first for me. Never have I even imagined!Thomas Yamaha Fazer!

Anyways, we went and got the bike, took it to church, had it blessed. Then, I rode home to spend the some quality time with some other friends as well.
The highlight of the weekend was furniture shopping with Ma. It’s nice to see her giggling like a school kid, running around, looking at shoe racks, antique bedside furnishings and ‘authentic teakwood cupboards at 50% discount’.

It’s like she the prodigal son has finally come home… She sits on couches, measures kitchen fittings, tries computer tables, knocks on wood, shakes tea tables violently (probably an ancient fool-proof- earth quake-test) and brain drains the sales guy; all with an ethereal glow on her face (and no it’s not the aloe vera juice!)

When we leave the sales guy looks about to drown himself in a pool of acid. I loved it.

We then had dinner, just the two of us, talking, planning, dreaming, laughing… I realise that we both have missed this over the years. Just us girls, learning to respect each other for what we have been through and what we want to make out of it.

She looking back and I looking ahead.

If I turn out to be like my mother – I’d have only lived a righteous life, never giving up, doing things the right way, having no regrets and touching more people’s lives that I’d care to count.

Weekends… who knows what’s next :)

I’m ashamed of myself

Screeeeeeeeeeeeechhhhhh… A car cut me off.

My scooter was doing around 50 kms/hr and it scared the hell out of me.

Taking off my helmet and mustering all my strength “Holy mother of crap! What the hell are you doing?”

Meaaaaaaooooww!

Meaaaaaaooooww!

Window rolling down “ I saw you and wanted to say hi… Did I scare you?”

Muttering to myself Puny Todd you bastard” I searched for a dignified rebuke.

He made gestures asking me to pull over to the curb.

Shaking with anger, I pulled over and parked, still searching…

Puny Todd shuffled towards me, hitching up his pants which were half way off his ass.

“You DICK” I raged out loud. Decent and dignified, that’s me.

“Calm down Jo gurl! Want some gum?”

“Jump up your own ass and die freak!”

“You watch too much TV, want some pongal?

“What the fuck man! Wierd ass psycho FREAK. I could’ve been hurt fool… HURT!” The bats could hear me now

Traffic Cop (Parking his bike)                : “What seems to be the problem?”

Me (Trying to keep my voice steady): “Nothing sir. Just going to work”

Traffic Cop (Assessing the vehicles)   :  “Night shifts?”

Me (Producing my ID)                              : “Here is my ID card sir. I work 5 minutes from here”

Traffic Cop(Turning away from me)    : “Who is this? Your lover?”

Me(Disgusting retching sound)             : “No”

Puny Todd (Taking out his wallet)        : “he he he…Ok, don’t make a scene sir. Tell me how much you want?”

Traffic Cop (thundering)                           : “Making a scene? I’ll show you. Go and stand near the bike. (Turning to me and lowering his voice) If I ever see you with this son-of-a-bitch (he used a rather disturbing tamil word) again, it won’t be good.

Me (to his back)                                            : You won’t.

Traffic  Cop (adding an afterthought) :  “Paathu po kannu” (Ride safe dear)

Puny Todd (yelling)                                   : “Message me when you reach Jo gurl”

Traffic Cop (As I was staring the bike): “Modhala pant ah olunga poduda” (Pull up your pants first)

SO much language in a matter of a few minutes…I use f*** and different variations of the word (Which is my next post), but not the other cuss words. (I swear TK, I don’t)

Some people do bring out the gutter in me!

I’m ashamed of myself :(

Psst: This is where you say –> “You ought to be ashamed Archu,but,we still love you Archu…

Saturday comes when I want it to!

‘Where the hell are you?’ demanded a harsh voice over the phone.

‘Who the F***k aaa yew?’ I slurred.

‘Huh? You overslept you cow’ Sounded like nails on a chalk board.

‘Whaazure prablem biAtch?’

‘We had to shop at 6′

‘I’ll be there in an hour’

‘It’s 1.30 in the morning’

‘Oh fish’

That’s how I lost my saturday.

Saturday morning was spent watching Underworld and Without a paddle. I slowly drifted off to sleep mid-afternoon and lost my entire day.

Sunday proved to be a different story though. Thomas and I had plans for a play that Sathish had invited us to. We learned that Sathish wasn’t feeling well and decided that it wasn’t fair for us to watch the play without him.

Missed the Bloggers meet, missed the play and somehow ended up in Funk n Jazz with a carnberry drink…

Cranberry Crush

Cranberry Crush

It being a Sunday, I suggested we go to Church. Thomas decided to take me to one of the oldest churches in the city.

This church was built in 1512!It is also the final resting

LSS Church

LSS Church

priest of one of the kindest and most generous priests, Fr.Joseph.

Darkness had decended upon the cemetary and we stood there looking at the final resting place of man. A stange sense of peace settled into my weary bones. I stood there thinking about all the nameless strangers who helped me in life. How often will I get a chance to thank them? How many times HAVE  I thanked them? Promising myself that I would be greatful for small things in life, we went in search of coffee.

We also got pulled over by cops (He was riding without his helmet and had a cigarette lit up. We were on his motor bike). He talked his way out of it!

Our quest for coffee landed us @ Karma Cafe a quiant little place. Unfortunately they did not have my favorite drink called ‘marijuana’ (Trust me it’s awesome!), so I settled for a regular drink with some amazing Pasta.

Their German Chocolate Surprise was the next best thing to… ahem! I went home laden with food and a brand new T-SHirt that says “Eat Healthy – Stay Fit – Die Anyways”!

Crawling into bed, I began the long night of texting and talking to two of the most important men in my life (BPC and My brother). Once we were all talked out, I cussed Monday and went to sleep.IJ with the virgin... Mojito :P

Little did I know that Monday morning would bring me a pair of pink shoes, afternoon some lovely candles and evening dinner at KFC (Anna Nagar) – Please Oh please try the Sparkling Virgin Mojito!!! Check out Inder on this third refill! I had quite a many too—–>

We were high on chicken and refills of our Mojitos!

Then like all old friends do, we went for a walk (stuffing ourselves with ice creams) and I went to work feeling petty damn good.

That’s the story of how I lost my saturday but found out that I didn’t give a damn  coz with friends like mine, Saturday comes when I want it to!