Like a bridge over troubled water

For Rainbows and Dungeons
Jan 27,09
“How sad na, look at his fate ya” I cringe. I turn around to retort. His warm hand on the small of my back and his gentle voice “Let it go AJ”
“I wanted to tell her to shut her face” I complain. My limited understanding of the world and its workings does not help me rationalize this theory… Unexplainable things are always labeled as ‘the result of fate’, ‘in God’s hands’ and ‘God is testing us’
I beg to differ on each count…
Fate… Well, isn’t fate an excuse for when we find no other excuse?
God, now, I do not believe that the creator goes around picking out grand prize winners. And I’m sure big G can come up with more ‘God like’ ways to test man and not by way of slow, painful, heart wrenching, death. He isn’t an agony monger, is he?
Maybe all my frustration comes out of a sense of helplessness. True, I feel helpless, like a big chunk of nothing, saying nothing words of encouragement, bringing nothing flowers, reading out loud from nothing books, holding his hand and saying nothing prayers, wiping a stray tear with a nothing kiss… In the end, the only thing that is true is the agony everyone undergoes, leading to that fateful day.
That fateful day: ‘He’s in not in pain anymore’ {amazing grace how sweet the sound} ‘Dear Lord! Welcome your son into thy kingdom’ {that saved a wretch like me} ‘You have to be strong’, ‘God tests His children’ {I once was lost, but now am found} ‘I know how you feel’, ‘you still have your life’, ‘from ashes to ashes, dust to dust’, ‘Akka, when will maama come home?’{Was blind, but now I see} “You walked out of the service?”
Me: “Yeah I needed some air… I hate the song they are singing”
D: “Amazing Grace? You’re crying”
Me: “uhhuh”
D: “Well do you want to sing him another song?”
Me: “huh?”
D: “you said, you did not like amazing grace right? So sing him another song…”
Me: “Right here?”
D: “Yeah, here hold my hand… I’ll join you. No wait, let me finish this cigarette”
Me: “I can’t sing… I’ll cry”
D: “Here let me sing you a song ok?”

{When you’re weary, feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all;
I’m on your side. When times get rough
and friends just can’t be found,
like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.}
Me: I think I’ll go inside now D,{Like a bridge over troubled water…I will lay me down}

Advertisements

6 comments

  1. Rightly put.. Fate / Naseeb is a convenient excuse that I use to label a situation. gone haywire.., beating logic/reasoning.. more as a defense mechanism to prevent self-destruct myself..We need that logic to continue to survive.. so that mind accepts and moves on to other things..

    Keep writing the it makes sense to you.. end of the day its your expression.. it

    PS: most of my comments will might be revisited..

  2. Apar, I write when am nostalgic and type when am jobless 😉

    Most of all, I try to translate my trip down memory lane exactly as it unfolds. Many friends say it’s wierd and not comprehensive, but to me it wouldn’t make sense any other way! What do you think?

    Hope that sheds some light…

Please leave a comment. Make my day!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s