Jay – Ho Jackass!

 

Friday Morning, I had to be @ work by 5am. I chose to ride over to the office. Didn’t realize it was as cold as a witch’s… I arrived just short of a frozen popsicle, got locked in the basement parking lot, climbed 3 flights of stairs (each floor’s exit door being locked), managed to spook myself silly, called building security who spoke no English/tamil/hindi/malyalam, discovered a couple making out, doubled back to shamelessly ask how they got there and walked up two more flights of stairs to find an open service door and took the elevator to my office in the second floor.

 I needed something to lift my spirits. Then I remembered that I was damned for all eternity coz I’d ignored reading Big G’s blog. It’s never too late to salvage your soul. So I logged on with a prayer and a promise.

 “What are you reading? Can I indulge?” The sneaky ferret, I let out a list of choice expletives in my mind and jumped around. “I didn’t realize I was under surveillance”

“C’mon yaar, what are you reading? By the way I am Jayanth. You can call me Jay ok please?”

“Erm. Jay…It’s a friend’s blog; would you like the link so you can read it on YOUR system?”

“No I shall just look in your SYSTEM”. So much for Word Stress 101.  He waddles, the way only a 5 foot tube of wasabi could waddle.

Pulling up a chair, he settles in. My chair rolls a couple of feet away. After his chivalrous display of valor and values (booger hunt, wipe-hands-on-pant-after-snot-picking, itch that needs scratched…brb I can feel the bile rising), I’m a good 8 feet away.

Half a minute later he-it speaks…“You see Miss.Joyeee,”

“Errr… Joyce is my middle name…”

“Sorry, Miss. Archana” (me rolling eyes) “Boys these days are multi talented but choose to waste time, in front of computer, writing meaningless words hoping to attract innocent women… like preying you know? Tsk Tsk”

I turn around and look the screen, back at the prosimian…  “U didn’t scroll” I mutter to myself

“Huh?”

“Those were the tags…”

“Tags bags…Whatever they are, you better bewared! By the way today is my last working day here”

“You don’t say…” Guess the marathon worked after all… Jay – Ho Jackass!

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6 comments

  1. You really have a way to “attract” wierdos!!!! Oh boy!!! or may be it was because you were reading Big G’s blog 😉 …hmm I wonder!!!

  2. @Aaarti: I know man! The scariest part was hearing weird sounds and finding the source and them jumping apart like a toilet punger working on a drain block… ECKS!

  3. @NK:
    Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition! I’d’ve to shot myself to believe it… 🙂
    Jokes apart, I thank thee o mighty smiter! Thy candor and consideration humbles me… 😀

  4. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

    Funniest thing I’ve read ever! 😀
    And just so I like you, I’d dispose with the sexist comment this one time! 😀

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