Fibbin Photographer!

Thomas and I were at breakfast yesterday. The breakfast buffet has in years become a bonding – catching up ritual for us. He happens to be my best-friend and of-late we haven’t been able to spend as much time together as we would’ve liked.

So, we are at breakfast and taking pictures, goofing around. He kept stealing from my plate and I rewarded him by bawling my lungs out over an emotional incident sometime between the breadbasket and the cheese and mushroom omelet. My mood improved steadily as I worked my way through the sausages and by the time I was mulling over a ‘Chateau Gateau’ I was positively beaming!

The incident begins with a lady breaking into our conversation

“Hi! I have the same kind of camera” She says from the other table

We smiled politely at her, she was in her late 50’s, salt and pepper hair and a restrained smile.

“It’s a good Camera” I nodded

“I can take pictures of you once I’m done with my coffee. Give me five minutes”

Before we could protest, she was cleaning her baked beans and baked potatoes with parsley in one swoop.

Thomas and I exchanged a look, shrugged and I went back to the cake and fruits.

“You ready?”

“She’s just being sweet Thomas come on” With his smile confirming his agreement we handed over the camera.

For the next couple of minutes she scouted for a location and then, just when we sported our best smiles…

“You have to look at each other! Come on!”

We did, “Now that’s a sweet couple”

Our smiles froze to the likes of Chandler’s smile

She then proceeded to humiliate us, taking picture after picture… “Stand Here! Go there! You – Chin Up! I have Photoshop! I love photography!”

I could feel Thomas seething “I should knock her the fuck out” through the fake smile

I was thinking Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave

When she had her fill of crouching, tip toeing, and half-squatting acrobatic stunts, she gave us back the camera and walked off.

There were 23 photographs. We were recognizable in 3.

Never judge the book by the way it runs it’s mouth! Hmph!

Here is the one that we were recognizable in:

Thomas and I

Thomas and I

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39 comments

  1. ROFLMAO!! Oh man, that’s funny! As a wedding photographer, I run into these type of people ALL THE TIME. There is one at EVERY wedding. LOL

    1. Gary,

      Don’t tell me!
      And can you fly down for my wedding?(Whenever that happens!)
      I could rest assured that there are more than just fuzz balls in the photographs!

    1. Aaaaah that damned twist!

      I’m afraid my love life isn’t laid bare on these pages just yet!

      Thanks for visiting Elvia. Good Luck with the novel.

  2. Maybe the old windbag was a surrealist photographer?

    New Wave?

    A Photographic Renaissance artist?

    Her pictures could be the future of photography and be worth millions in years to come and hang in all the World’s most famous galleries and your photograph will become like the photographic equivalent of the Mona Lisa and you’ll become a celebrity and then you’ll get invited on all the talk shows and Oprah will become your bestest ever friend and you’ll be rich beyond your wildest dreams and…….

    Sorry, I got a little carried away there!

    At least she didn’t cut off your heads or obscure you with her fiddly thumbs while she searched for the button!

    1. A Photographic Renaissance artist?

      JB, I sure would love to think of her that way and preserve all the fuzziness…

      But I’m back on my meds, so I think not!

  3. πŸ™‚

    Aw, she’s a sweet old gal. It’s one of those moments that can feel a bit weird but will always be remembered.

    Too cute. Nice picture too!

  4. Chriz: nah man… We were too busy trying to figure out what all the haze and orange fuzz on the display was.
    By the time we figured out that the orange fuzz was Thomas’ head and the green orb was my torso, she was gone!

  5. haha haha.. am sure u made her day by letting her take pics of you babes!!

    10brownie points for that

    3out of 23-well, she earned maybe 2bownie points!!!:D

  6. THREE OUT OF TWENTY THREE . THE ONE YOU PUT IN THE BLOG IS MORE ABOUT THE WINDOW AT THE BACK. BUT WHY ALLOWED HER TO RUIN 20 FRAMES.

    1. WHY ALLOWED HER

      Well, It’s not like she let us look at each photo after she clicked it. She went on and on like she was in a bloody trance I tell ya. He silver white hair flying all about her… It was terrifying!

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