Screeeeeeeeeeeeechhhhhh… A car cut me off.
My scooter was doing around 50 kms/hr and it scared the hell out of me.
Taking off my helmet and mustering all my strength “Holy mother of crap! What the hell are you doing?”
Window rolling down “ I saw you and wanted to say hi… Did I scare you?”
Muttering to myself “Puny Todd you bastard” I searched for a dignified rebuke.
He made gestures asking me to pull over to the curb.
Shaking with anger, I pulled over and parked, still searching…
Puny Todd shuffled towards me, hitching up his pants which were half way off his ass.
“You DICK” I raged out loud. Decent and dignified, that’s me.
“Calm down Jo gurl! Want some gum?”
“Jump up your own ass and die freak!”
“You watch too much TV, want some pongal?
“What the fuck man! Wierd ass psycho FREAK. I could’ve been hurt fool… HURT!” The bats could hear me now
Traffic Cop (Parking his bike) : “What seems to be the problem?”
Me (Trying to keep my voice steady): “Nothing sir. Just going to work”
Traffic Cop (Assessing the vehicles) : “Night shifts?”
Me (Producing my ID) : “Here is my ID card sir. I work 5 minutes from here”
Traffic Cop(Turning away from me) : “Who is this? Your lover?”
Me(Disgusting retching sound) : “No”
Puny Todd (Taking out his wallet) : “he he he…Ok, don’t make a scene sir. Tell me how much you want?”
Traffic Cop (thundering) : “Making a scene? I’ll show you. Go and stand near the bike. (Turning to me and lowering his voice) If I ever see you with this son-of-a-bitch (he used a rather disturbing tamil word) again, it won’t be good.
Me (to his back) : You won’t.
Traffic Cop (adding an afterthought) : “Paathu po kannu” (Ride safe dear)
Puny Todd (yelling) : “Message me when you reach Jo gurl”
Traffic Cop (As I was staring the bike): “Modhala pant ah olunga poduda” (Pull up your pants first)
SO much language in a matter of a few minutes…I use f*** and different variations of the word (Which is my next post), but not the other cuss words. (I swear TK, I don’t)
Some people do bring out the gutter in me!
I’m ashamed of myself 😦
Psst: This is where you say –> “You ought to be ashamed Archu,but,we still love you Archu…