Chuck Norris – Top 10!

1. Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.

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2. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
3. Multiple people have died from Chuck Norris giving them the finger.
4. Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
5. If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.
6. Chuck Norris once threated to sue Burger King because they refused to make it his way. When asked what “his way” detailed, he replied: “with barbed wire and nails, of course”. He then roundhouse kicked the reporter for even asking.
7. Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.

8. Chuck Norris’ evil twin brother, Richard Simmons, once approached Chuck with the hope of reconciliation, but at the sight of Richard’s curly, well kept hair, Chuck Norris became so enraged that he turned green with hate and ripped Richard Simmons arms and legs off. This action was the origin of the Marvel Comic badass, The Incredible Hulk.

9. Chuck Norris used live ammunition during all shoot-outs. When a director once said he couldn’t, he replied, “Of course I can, I’m Chuck Norris,” and roundhouse kicked him in the face.

10. Chuck Norris never “gets laid”, rather: “laid gets Chuck”.

Content borrowed from different websites!

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9 comments

  1. #1-#5 ROFLMFAO! I like your blog,it’s insightful and has a certain class to it! Keep writing!

    Thank you Suzanne! Keep writing 🙂

  2. “When God said “Let there be light” Chuck Norris said “Say Please.””

    lol… Your blog has all the emotions of the world in it. I can’t get enough.

    ROFL… That’s a good one Chuck! Thank you… feels good to have entertained you 🙂

  3. ROFLMAO! I needed that!

    By the way, what is your real opinion of chuck?

    Hello Lovely,

    While it is great that he tries to reach out to so many youngsters with his organisation (Kickstart), it’s dis-heartening to see that he is so homophobic.

  4. Chun Kuk Do all the way baby!

    Hey I didn’t know about that until recently… It’s that martial arts thing he founded right?

  5. YOU CAN ADD/DEDUCE CHUCK HE HAS A ROUGH ASS.

    Lol… More like he is a hardass! 🙂 Gotto love his roundhouse kicks to the face though!

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