A colleague of mine was terrified – crossing the Rubicon, taking the plunge, throwing himself off a cliff… Marriage terrified him. He would rather go to a Justin Beiber concert than get married. Things were horrible. He turned to us for help and before his wedding I came up with a list:
Ten Commandments for a Blissful Marital Life
- Thou shalt have eyes only for thy spouse. Thou shalt have eyes for no other person / species except thy spouse.
- Honour thy in-laws
- Thou shalt leave the toilet seat down
- Thou shalt never answer questions regarding weight, attractiveness or the need for Credit on thy credit card with an honest answer – Never
- Thou shalt not covet a La-Z-Boy
- Thou shalt never forget thy spouse’s birthday, anniversary or the anniversaries and birthdays of as many siblings and in laws as possible. Pets are not exempted.
- Thou shalt not fart in a gathering. Belching and drooling may be forgiven when small acts of atonement are made
- Thou shalt pretend to enjoy chick flicks and try to laugh at appropriate parts. There is no official ‘limit’ to beer, thou shalt remember this on game nights
- Thou shalt never answer the question ‘What are you thinking?’ with ‘Nothing’ even though that is the absolute truth
- Thou shalt never ask your spouse for their FB password and ‘like’ all their posts, tweets, pokes,suggestions, game requests etc regardless
What do you suppose will happen to my friend? Do you have any commandments that you’d like to share?