irritating

‘Cupcake’ guy is back and I saw a camel!

Img Courtesy: Purdue.edu

Img Courtesy: Purdue.edu

I was parking my bike at a flower shop on my way home last night…

It’s burning hot in Chennai and I was surprised to see the shop having a big bunch of beautiful pink and white carnations…The breath caught in my throat and I pulled over.

I was looking at the beautiful collection of flowers they had for the day/evening (Roses and Carnations mostly) and they had a pink and white theme going… When suddenly I heard

“So can I get some flowers for my cupcake?”

Deepak Debnath (sack o swine poo).

“Hey” my face darkens by several shades and I suddenly wish it was TK or any other friend that I ran into…

“Why the long face (pause) baby face?(Hearty Chuckle, apparently it was something clever and / or funny)

“Nothin’, I was just leavin’ ”

“Yo! Hold up Bunny Bear, you want me to drop you somewhere”

“No thank you Deepak. I wish you would call me by my name.”

“You hate me callin you sweet names huh? That’s different about you. You gotto have that checked out… Most girls pray for it…”

“I’m not most girls. I have to go. Bye!”

“Bye Joyceykins… What? It is your name right?” Calling after me “I’ve moved here, I’ll see you around”

I beat a hasty retreat shooting a prayer to the heavens. “I promise I will cut back on road rage and pulling pranks on people for a whole month. Just get me outta this! I’ll even throw in eating my vegetables…”

Yeah! The cupcake guy is back… 😦

This afternoon I was riding to work. It is 104.36 F and the humidity Gods are at their most benevolent phases in the year.

So I was ridin along and turned a corner and VOILA! There was a camel…

A goddamn CAMEL! Ship of the desert, with a hump and bad teeth and everything!

There it was ambling along, and a boy who looked about 12 yrs old,was leading it offering rides in boiling weather…

I knew Chennai was getting hotter, but sheesh!

This is insane. This is just wrong. Cart them damn camels to where they belong. I’m not ready for this yet!

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Puny Todd

Puny Todd* hated smiling and I did my best to avoid him.

He is always in between jobs or “am-just-about-to quit” phases that render him a depressed twit, too pissed with the world to offer a smile.

It’s not like people don’t call him a vacant-eyed looser beyond his back. But his friends always stick up for him. I was neither.

Now here he was, on a hot April afternoon, puny as ever, wearing baggy jeans and an oversized jacket.

“Hey I saw you from across the street. How are you?”

“What’s up Puny Todd. You look… well”

He huffed and he puffed “Yeah… you smell nice”

“Errr… thanks”

“You want to get out of the sun?”

“mmmm”

Puny Todd gnawed along the edge of the bone and inspected the chunk of meat that was left. He held it up and proclaimed “This is good stuff” and proceeded to masticate, his cheeks straining with the effort.

“Mmm” I smiled downing my Soda.

“Puny Todd” I ventured, “Why do people find you irritating?”

“Slurrrrrp” His ice cream soda vanished.

“Ethos… they are intimidated by me”

“Mmm”

“Why do men find you attractive Jo Gurl?” (Why does he always call me that)

“They don’t”

“You are humble. If you were socially ambient, they would find you intimidating. See what I mean?” (Socially what?)

“Mmm…”

“Not that I make value judgments of course.”

“Mmmhmmm”

“Are you gonna finish your soda?”

Shaking head “mmhmmm”

“Slurrrrrp, thanks, you were always nice to me Jo m’ gurl”

Was that a smile? It looked like gas.

“Ethos… looks like the bastards got to me too Puny Todd!”

Whatever that meant.

*(Puny Todd’s name has been changed to help many of my non-blogging friends identify him. Most of us have forgotten his real name)