madness

FFWD!

It feels like the man up there has hit the fast-forward button in my life…

Lately everything is whizzing past me with such insane speed that things are a blur (I know what you are thinking,but am sober!)

I fell on my ass trying to scramble for the phone forgetting that I was standing on a stool, forgot to pay for a cantaloupe in a mad frenzy to dash out of the store , return to the store coz I forgot my grocery bag, returned to return the grocery bag coz I hadn’t purchased grocery and came home without the cantaloupe.

Last Tuesday I witnessed an accident. This crazy-tattooed-eyebrow pierced-Mohawk sporting guy on a motor bike rammed into a pedestrian crossing the street. The lady shrieked like a banshee with her gown on fire and there was mayhem.  The fiend gathered his pants back over his ass, cocked his head, shifted gears and raced away!

Can you believe it! I had a fleeting impression that he gave her the finger too… I barely had time to help her to the side walk before the traffic whirred upto breakneck speed, many motorists throwing her looks of malice.  “Sheesh! sorry you had to take your foot off the gas pedal while a woman died on the road ass****s”.

I never did handle road-rage well… Sigh. We bundled her into an auto and the driver kept telling us to hurry up as the motorists kept honking like their lives depended on it…

This lady turns and tells the auto driver “Seekram ponga late aagida pogudhu” (Please hurry I’m getting late)

I rolled my eyes so far back in my head that I thought I’d fall over backwards and spied a pre-teen checking to see if  had left the keys in my Activa probably trying to steal it.

Hell, what’s wrong with the world!

I need a breather and that’s why my blog has been and will be dormant for a while…

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My Tabard

Courtesy:Deviantart

Courtesy:Deviantart

Just Twilights and dusks cutting through the perennial night.

My Tabard is empty.

People all around: Laughing, crying, whining..

Swapping promiscuous encounters, tales of regret, singing swan songs stepping over bones in the dust…

My Tabard is empty.

The window complains… Leaning out I see the serpentine road in the moonlight – mocking, jeering

2 in the place of 29.

figure of eight – reef – hitch – figure of eight… Hurry

B***h Slapped!

I went pink for a day!!!

I went pink for a day!!!

Well… that is what my friend said after visiting my blog today. <piercing whiney voice> “Why It’s pink! It feels like you’ve b**** slapped me”

Nah, for that I’d have to make you hear your voice… I think to myself.

Now, I’ve battled this all my life – PINK and all that it stood for.

When I was a little girl my world was in monochrome, colors did not fascinate me, climbing trees and falling off stuff did.

Then my world changed to windows default settings – few basic colors. I knew that plum was a fruit, wondered if salmon wasn’t a fish and thought turquoise was a bad word. I hadn’t given a second thought to pink.

And then, D came into our lives. D is a wonderful person; gentle, caring sensitive, the kind that remembers your birthday… the best friend types and oh so gay! It was D’s morbid attachment to everything pink that gave me my first ever case of ‘heebedijeebies’ (a term used my a wise man named King Julian to describe a rather unpleasant feeling). It was then that I started to run from pink and everything it stood for.

According to him, pink was not only a color but a symbol of his socio-cultural identity, a verb (oh he was totally pinking on me), an adjective (oh what a pink feeling!) and a replacement to any word his brain could not figure out…

“(sniffing)they os.. os.. pink haters (waaaah…boohoo..)”

“Ostracized you D?…”

Everytime I see a guy with a pink shirt , a pink scarf, a pink shopping bag … a little bell in my head rings “gay gay gay”.Three times I tell you, like divine intervention…I quote one Mr.Johar “Pink is the next black… I think it’s hot!” I rest my case.

I also thought pink associated with piglets. (D thinks they are ‘precious’) pink ,pink, pink, oink oink… see?

Well, applying the same theory last week, I realized – God is pink! He is loving, forgiving, sweet (c’mon say it aloud) loving, forgiving, sweet, loving-forgiving-sweet… hearts-flowers- butterflies…. candy-apples-sugar.. pink-pink-PINK! What a smooth transition!

Being a single woman, I had vowed stay away from men riding pink scooty peps, sporting pink towels on their shoulders or seem to teaching the alphabet ‘u’ to another man at close quarters. I plan to keep every one of them.

But, I have renewed respect for the color, If God is pink, it musn’t be so bad after all.

So here I am, trying to b**** slap my karma balance back into shape. It has taken all my stength, will power and sanity (what’s left of it) to sport a pink blog.

But I shall do it with my head held high.

And someday when I meet you in hell, I’ll tell you about the look on your face right now!!!!

That which has no caption…

There are two things that are very hard to come by…Profoundness and simplicity… Yeah, to think great thoughts, one has to pry loose from the billboard of the ‘self portrayal’ that would’ve probably taken years to build.
Hangin on the edge o the abyss, I hear people say “She’s on the edge of insanity”. I smile.
Bring on the transition cavalry… You say it’s madness to let go, and I smile… I’m free, from the fetters that bind you, from having to wake up when the alarm goes off, to drink ‘socially’, to smoke ‘occasionally’, to read a movie ‘critique’ before I catch a flick, to hand out some change to a beggar and clap myself on the back “Lord I helped a stranger”, to talk about ‘moral competence’ and ’emotional stability’ walking in a valley of broken hearts…
Do I belong here? No? (Smirk) “The son of man has no place to lay his head”.Yeah the stained and chipped cup holds as much beauty to me as your coral china,the barren land poses as much beauty as the backwaters you identify yourselves with; I smile…
I respect your sense of propriety to your socio-economic identity; you prosecute me for being different, for thinking wild, for listening to music at 3 o clock in the morning walkin in the mist sippin on ma soda – you squirm, “kids these days” you say? I smile…
I can feel the rain even before it hits my skin, I let a mongrel walk me home, I can ride without knowing my destination, I can sit on a milestone with a friend and feel at home, I can let the salty tang of the ocean air soothe the deepest longin of my heart, I hold my hand in front of my face and block out the sun.
Profoundness and Simplicity…
I hear you.. I look into your eyes, I see you for what you are. Bring it on.
I turn around and walk into the sunset….
I smile…