relationships

Ten Commandments for a Blissful Marriage

Photo Courtesy: The Funny Photos dot net

Photo Courtesy: The Funny Photos dot net

A colleague of mine was terrified – crossing the Rubicon, taking the plunge, throwing himself off a cliff… Marriage terrified him. He would rather go to a Justin Beiber concert than get married. Things were horrible. He turned to us for help and before his wedding I came up with a list:

Ten Commandments for a Blissful Marital Life

  1. Thou shalt have eyes only for thy spouse. Thou shalt have eyes for no other person / species except thy spouse.
  2. Honour thy in-laws
  3. Thou shalt leave the toilet seat down
  4. Thou shalt never answer questions regarding weight, attractiveness or the need for Credit on thy credit card with an honest answer – Never
  5. Thou shalt not covet a La-Z-Boy
  6. Thou shalt never forget thy spouse’s birthday, anniversary or the anniversaries and birthdays of as many siblings and in laws as possible. Pets are not exempted.
  7. Thou shalt not fart in a gathering. Belching and drooling may be forgiven when small acts of atonement are made
  8. Thou shalt pretend to enjoy chick flicks and try to laugh at appropriate parts. There is no official ‘limit’ to beer, thou shalt remember this on game nights
  9. Thou shalt never answer the question ‘What are you thinking?’ with ‘Nothing’ even though that is the absolute truth
  10. Thou shalt never ask your spouse for their FB password and ‘like’ all their posts, tweets, pokes,suggestions, game requests etc regardless

What do you suppose will happen to my friend? Do you have any commandments that you’d like to share?

Are you dating a Serial Killer?

Your date sweeps you off your feet by showing up at your doorstep at half past eleven and asks you out for a long drive. Given that the large SUV or Van may not be very comfortable, just look at this as a late night adventure! Sure you find yourself waiting for half an hour at a 24 hour diner 50 miles out of town for your boyfriend who has taken the van out back to park. Boy what an adventure… especially because your boyfriend is worth the wait. Treats you like a queen and you never go to the same diner twice!
He always picks you up and prefers spending time alone with you. He insists on giving you his full attention, so it is just him and you. Your boyfriend is sweet enough to take you to the fair though. You even get a chance to walk home by yourself after a date to collect your thoughts. Your boyfriend is the best; he is not at all irritable or moody on the way back from a weekend out of town. Tired but definitely elated!
You often get small trinkets as gifts and never ask him why (Oh wait! that’s a serial ra.. well moving along). He even helped look for your lost puppy and comforted you when your room mate went missing from the gym.
Happy, cheerful and a disposition to strike up conversation with strangers are what make you unique to him. You can leave him sulking in a corner booth while you talk to people in the coffee queue and enquire about their habits and home. The dried marinara stains in his shirt that you throw in the laundry do not bother you. So… we all spill.
You love scented candles and exotic incense sticks. You think it is simply adorable that your boyfriend’s house is full of them. You don’t mind that there is a landfill nearby and sometimes the breeze can bring an unholy stench. Nothing can dampen your day!
He loves gardening and you enjoy bright sunny days when you can help him dig compost pits.
You have forwarded this post to all your friends because you have forgotten what the title says and are super excited about the content so far.

You have the emotional intelligence of a petri dish and you are dating a serial killer.

I love when Amma says…

1. I’m proud of you: It has given me a sense of elation and accomplishment like no other just hearing this from Amma. It doesn’t matter if I finished last, not even if I didn’t run the race. Just hearing her say this makes me feel like a winner.
2. You make me happy: Coming from a woman who spent her entire youth trying to make people happy, this is one of the best things I can hear. Amma has been there for anyone who needed help, she has received a fair share of heart ache in return too. Making her happy can be the highlight of my day!
3. It’s OK: Amma can be really strict at times. But in the end, she always has your back. When I come to think of it, I had/have panache of getting into sticky situations and there is always Wonder Woman to the rescue!
4. I’m sorry: Admitting mistakes to your children may feel weird, but Amma made me understand that everyone is capable of making mistakes. I can gracefully get my uncomfortably wide feet in my even wider mouth and when I do, I always remember to admit my mistake.
5. I forgive you: This is something Amma does so graciously these days. I’ve seen her struggle to put things behind her, to forget, to accept, to forgive. I’m not there yet. It is very hard for me to forgive or forget. I only hope I can learn the art of forgiveness from her.
6. The last but not the least (cliché attack!) most favorite thing Amma has ever said to me is: “Dinner is ready!”

Raining Colours

There is that phase of life that revisits you ever so often

That phase where you talk a million syllables of silence, where there is a profound meaning to a leaf drifting in the wind; where every second takes on an divine mission; And in a neon moment, the banal act of the spider lunching, mutates to a tale of survival, instinct and the way things are…

There is that phase of life that revisits you ever so often

That phase where your intellect craves like a hungry child for a bosom, where there is a dearth of opulence in the crowd around you.

There is that phase of life that revisits you ever so often

That phase where you repress the urge to break into fragments, where you find yourself alone in a crowd…And in a flash of wisdom you see everything blazing sulphur brilliance-It’s raining colours…

Matters of the heart!

“Archana, tell me what do you really like about him?” My friend PN just want to make sure that I made the right choice…

Hmm… What do I really like about him? His love for his family and the fierce pride he has about his father. The way he gently teases his mother and how she acts annoyed. Having a brother’s protectiveness for his sister the struggle he had to let go of her. The difficulty he faced to accept someone else in the ‘protector’ role. A profound respect that he has for his brother – in – law which was earned by that amazing gentleman over time…

I love the way he seeks out my hand, the gentle pressure of his arm on my shoulder. The way his resolute brown eyes sparkle with laughter and darken with passion; his big palm that stays firmly on the small of my back when I’m boarding a bus or climbing up the stairs; Strong legs that walk many a mile just to meet me… I like watching him look at cars and admire bikes, cheeks rising up in a faint smile of approval, eyes glistening with excitement, his chest rising and falling in tune to the thrill. For all I know he could be that little boy in Ooty racing his lone tyre downhill!

 It’s all about the way he loves life and each day. Facing it dead on with fervor and faith, he never fails to keep me afloat.  Many years back, my good friend Sophie and I had a long discussion about flaws in people. There is no such thing as a perfect person, is there? We agreed that flaws can either be like holes in a boat or like a piece of a jigsaw puzzle… The ship can sink or the puzzle can be completed by binding it with several other pieces.

 In his case, neither is the hole big enough to cause damage, nor is he a difficult piece to fit.

God truly has loved me much.

I hope that answers your question PN!

The only thing…

Courtesy Anne Geddes

The only tears worth shedding are ones when you are laughing hard.

The only song worth singing is the one that puts a smile on your face.

The only thing worth your disaapointment is the absence of hope.

The only thing worth dying for is your country.

The only thing worth killing is an innocence hunting predator.

The only thing worth stealing, is a kiss from a sleeping child.

The only life worth living is one where you leave the world more beautiful than you found it.

We get one shot, one time to live it right… to love as much as you breathe, to laugh like it sustains your life, to say “I love you” as much as pleases or thank you s…

We get one lifetime to walk in the rain, to hear the crickets at nights, to fall asleep in someones arms listening to the pitter patter of rain on the window sill, to wake up to freshly pressed coffee and sleepy lips in search of yours.

We earn one set of close friends to travel the world with, to stand by you when the world thinks you are wrong, to drag you out of your shell kicking and screaming, to share the last bowl of soup you can afford, to take the buses with you when your mercedes breaks down, to share your silence as much as your tears…

The only thing worth your indomitable spirit is to live like you deserve it all 🙂

There’s a he and a him…Sigh! and then there’s you…

Day 1: Parking Lot
Him: I thought I’d come by and give you this carnation. Do you like carnations?
Me:  Well, I… Thanks… but…erm..
Him: It’s a flower, not a ring. Relax and take it will you?
Me: Oh…I know… just…thanks.
Him: How come you never take compliments well?
Me: Huh?
Him: Like if I said that when you smile, it’s like you walk into a dark room and turn on the light…
Me: weird sound, impossible to be captured by alphabets
Him: See? (all intense) I don’t get you Joy…Help me out here.Tell me…
Me: Don’t call me Joy…
Him: Man, you drive me nuts…
Me: Thanks for the flower
(I drive away feeling like a jerk.)
Day 1: Grocery Store
He: hey hey! Archana!
Me: Hi.
He: You look beautiful
Me: Me? (looking down at my track pants and faded t-shirt) Me?
He: As long as you wear that smile and have those eyes…
Me: Me?
He: Yeah you. Your hair smells good as usual.
Me: I have to go.
He: Did I say something wrong? (pushing his grocery cart along) What the hell is your problem?
Me: Me?
He: Is that all you can say? I think you are nice and simple and funny and everytime I say something you go away.
Me: M..er.. well,it’s not like that. I just have to get home fast. Sorry.
(I walk home feeling like a tub of lard)
Day 1: At home
Me: What are you thinking?
You: Just looking at you…
(I blush and my heart beats faster. I want you to hold me and never let me go. Coz I already know all that you want to say…)
There’s a he and a him…Sigh! and then there’s you…

Day 1: Parking Lot

Him: I thought I’d come by and give you this carnation. Do you like carnations?

Me:  Well, I… Thanks… but…erm..

Him: It’s a flower, not a ring. Relax and take it will you?

Me: Oh…I know… just…thanks.

Him: How come you never take compliments well?

Me: Huh?

Him: Like if I said that when you smile, it’s like you walk into a dark room and turn on the light…

Me: weird sound, impossible to be captured by alphabets

Him: See? (all intense) I don’t get you Joy…Help me out here.Tell me…

Me: Don’t call me Joy…

Him: Man, you drive me nuts…

Me: Thanks for the flower

(I drive away feeling like a jerk.)

Day 1: Grocery Store

He: hey hey! Archana!

Me: Hi.

He: You look beautiful

Me: Me? (looking down at my track pants and faded t-shirt) Me?

He: As long as you wear that smile and have those eyes…

Courtesy:Deviantart.com

Courtesy:Deviantart.com

Me: Me?

He: Yeah you. Your hair smells good as usual.

Me: I have to go.

He: Did I say something wrong? (pushing his grocery cart along) What the hell is your problem?

Me: Me?

He: Is that all you can say? I think you are nice and simple and funny and everytime I say something you go away.

Me: M..er.. well,it’s not like that. I just have to get home fast. Sorry.

(I walk home feeling like a tub of lard)

Day 1: At home

Me: What are you thinking?

You: Just looking at you...

(I blush and my heart beats faster. I want you to hold me and never let me go. Coz I already know all that you want to say…)

There’s a he and a him…Sigh! and then there’s you…