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“Unfortunately, Archana”

Image Courtesy: sodahead.com

Image Courtesy: sodahead.com

Hey! This Meme is perfect… It’s short and fun!

Here’s how to play… just search the internet for the phrase “unfortunately, _______” but put your first name in the blank (be sure to enclose it all in quotation marks). The resultant phrases are hilarious if you have a slightly twisted sense of humor and an appreciation for random absurdity.

Unfortunately Archana’s book is notable for a series of omissions that damage the argument she wishes to present

Oh well… “Men are driven by more than just testosterone and alcohol”. The series of omissions were the result of several bad dates and ‘mother of all’ hangovers. I have since resigned to let my argument be…

Unfortunately, Archana, Arun’s girlfriend, poses a barrier to any sort of relationship past friendship as she is super hot and super intelligent.

Ha Ha Ha! (Straight face) You flatter me! Gentlemen, I have no idea who Arun is 😉

Unfortunately, Archana is also blessed with a bad mouth, unlike Selvam, who is a thoughtful and sensitive guy

Huh? Who the @#$% is Selvam? Oh! I see what you mean… Screw you!!

Now I pass this on to… Hmmm … Let’s see:

Apar

Aaarti

Vimuuu

Nikhil

Padre

Vinod

Hope Y’all LYAO  too!

Cheers!

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Jay – Ho Jackass!

 

Friday Morning, I had to be @ work by 5am. I chose to ride over to the office. Didn’t realize it was as cold as a witch’s… I arrived just short of a frozen popsicle, got locked in the basement parking lot, climbed 3 flights of stairs (each floor’s exit door being locked), managed to spook myself silly, called building security who spoke no English/tamil/hindi/malyalam, discovered a couple making out, doubled back to shamelessly ask how they got there and walked up two more flights of stairs to find an open service door and took the elevator to my office in the second floor.

 I needed something to lift my spirits. Then I remembered that I was damned for all eternity coz I’d ignored reading Big G’s blog. It’s never too late to salvage your soul. So I logged on with a prayer and a promise.

 “What are you reading? Can I indulge?” The sneaky ferret, I let out a list of choice expletives in my mind and jumped around. “I didn’t realize I was under surveillance”

“C’mon yaar, what are you reading? By the way I am Jayanth. You can call me Jay ok please?”

“Erm. Jay…It’s a friend’s blog; would you like the link so you can read it on YOUR system?”

“No I shall just look in your SYSTEM”. So much for Word Stress 101.  He waddles, the way only a 5 foot tube of wasabi could waddle.

Pulling up a chair, he settles in. My chair rolls a couple of feet away. After his chivalrous display of valor and values (booger hunt, wipe-hands-on-pant-after-snot-picking, itch that needs scratched…brb I can feel the bile rising), I’m a good 8 feet away.

Half a minute later he-it speaks…“You see Miss.Joyeee,”

“Errr… Joyce is my middle name…”

“Sorry, Miss. Archana” (me rolling eyes) “Boys these days are multi talented but choose to waste time, in front of computer, writing meaningless words hoping to attract innocent women… like preying you know? Tsk Tsk”

I turn around and look the screen, back at the prosimian…  “U didn’t scroll” I mutter to myself

“Huh?”

“Those were the tags…”

“Tags bags…Whatever they are, you better bewared! By the way today is my last working day here”

“You don’t say…” Guess the marathon worked after all… Jay – Ho Jackass!