Of fakers and friends

All of us have been plagued by the fakers in life. Seemingly innocent, do-no-evil, goody –two-shoes turning to Cruella de Vil at the first chance they get. They are a menace in life, but, with a faker around you can easily spot a true friend. Sooner or later the faker shows his/her colours. Here is an interesting list I collected from all over the internet and some recesses of my brain.

THE FAKERS: will smile in front of others, put on a show and stab you in the back
MY FRIENDS: will help me heal and tell me where the stabber is buried!

THE FAKERS: know a few things about you
MY FRIENDS: could write a book about me with very embarrassing details

THE FAKERS: bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong
MY FRIENDS: sit next to me saying “Damn! You f***d up, you should’ve seen your face though ha ha!”

THE FAKERS: rarely see you cry
MY FRIENDS: cry with me

THE FAKERS: behave decently around your food
MY FRIENDS: are the reason I have no food

THE FAKERS: borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back
MY FRIENDS: keep my s**t for so long I forget it’s mine

THE FAKERS: will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
MY FRIENDS: will leave the crowd to stand by me

THE FAKERS: would knock on your front door
MY FRIENDS: walk right in and open the fridge

THE FAKERS: will flatter you at every turn until someone more ‘useful’ comes along
MY FRIENDS: will call a spade a spade and smack sense into you

THE FAKERS: will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
MY FRIENDS: will look at me stumbling all over the place and say “B***h drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

THE FAKERS: will talk s**t about you to people if they can get 5 mins of fame
MY FRIENDS: will knock them the fuck out!

THE FAKERS: are like perfume-latching on to fame and fading away
MY FRIENDS: are like birthmarks- may not be glamorous, but they make me unique