transition

Matters of the heart!

“Archana, tell me what do you really like about him?” My friend PN just want to make sure that I made the right choice…

Hmm… What do I really like about him? His love for his family and the fierce pride he has about his father. The way he gently teases his mother and how she acts annoyed. Having a brother’s protectiveness for his sister the struggle he had to let go of her. The difficulty he faced to accept someone else in the ‘protector’ role. A profound respect that he has for his brother – in – law which was earned by that amazing gentleman over time…

I love the way he seeks out my hand, the gentle pressure of his arm on my shoulder. The way his resolute brown eyes sparkle with laughter and darken with passion; his big palm that stays firmly on the small of my back when I’m boarding a bus or climbing up the stairs; Strong legs that walk many a mile just to meet me… I like watching him look at cars and admire bikes, cheeks rising up in a faint smile of approval, eyes glistening with excitement, his chest rising and falling in tune to the thrill. For all I know he could be that little boy in Ooty racing his lone tyre downhill!

 It’s all about the way he loves life and each day. Facing it dead on with fervor and faith, he never fails to keep me afloat.  Many years back, my good friend Sophie and I had a long discussion about flaws in people. There is no such thing as a perfect person, is there? We agreed that flaws can either be like holes in a boat or like a piece of a jigsaw puzzle… The ship can sink or the puzzle can be completed by binding it with several other pieces.

 In his case, neither is the hole big enough to cause damage, nor is he a difficult piece to fit.

God truly has loved me much.

I hope that answers your question PN!

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Diary Excerpts(Jan 17,08)

For Rainbows and Dungeons ( Jan 17,08 )
“Don’t forget to look down” I thought to myself. Suspended a hundred feet above the ground, walking on an industrial cable; looking down, I saw a myriad of faces and colors, all fading away.
Ever had claustrophobia in open space? All reason is against it. I guess that’s why I can so acutely perceive it.
Always there, like the coffee cup stain on my professor’s desk; always there – permanent; It was and is and shall be… Just like me, I realize… I was and am and shall be. There’s nothing that can be done to stop it. Just don’t get in the way… Excuse me 😉

That which has no caption…

There are two things that are very hard to come by…Profoundness and simplicity… Yeah, to think great thoughts, one has to pry loose from the billboard of the ‘self portrayal’ that would’ve probably taken years to build.
Hangin on the edge o the abyss, I hear people say “She’s on the edge of insanity”. I smile.
Bring on the transition cavalry… You say it’s madness to let go, and I smile… I’m free, from the fetters that bind you, from having to wake up when the alarm goes off, to drink ‘socially’, to smoke ‘occasionally’, to read a movie ‘critique’ before I catch a flick, to hand out some change to a beggar and clap myself on the back “Lord I helped a stranger”, to talk about ‘moral competence’ and ’emotional stability’ walking in a valley of broken hearts…
Do I belong here? No? (Smirk) “The son of man has no place to lay his head”.Yeah the stained and chipped cup holds as much beauty to me as your coral china,the barren land poses as much beauty as the backwaters you identify yourselves with; I smile…
I respect your sense of propriety to your socio-economic identity; you prosecute me for being different, for thinking wild, for listening to music at 3 o clock in the morning walkin in the mist sippin on ma soda – you squirm, “kids these days” you say? I smile…
I can feel the rain even before it hits my skin, I let a mongrel walk me home, I can ride without knowing my destination, I can sit on a milestone with a friend and feel at home, I can let the salty tang of the ocean air soothe the deepest longin of my heart, I hold my hand in front of my face and block out the sun.
Profoundness and Simplicity…
I hear you.. I look into your eyes, I see you for what you are. Bring it on.
I turn around and walk into the sunset….
I smile…